December 2014 Philadelphia Chapter of Pax Christi U.S.A.
The Contagion of Love
With all of the Ebola fearfulness filling the news recently, an odd thought floated through my brain: what if we were as aware of the contagion of love as we are of other forms of infection, and in the spirit of love casting out fear, expended maximum effort in creating a truly cataclysmic epidemic? What better way to celebrate the season of the Gift of Love than by infecting the world with it?
Some time ago, I stumbled upon Fierce Grace…the documentary about Ram Dass and his healing journey following a stroke. It’s beautiful and well worth watching. In it, one of his friends talks about what it was like to be in the presence of Maharajjii, Ram Dass’ teacher. He explained that it wasn’t even just the wonder of being in the presence of one who loved you completely that was so transformative. Far greater, he said, was that in that presence, you wanted to be that love yourself.
I thought with certainty that this is surely what people experienced in the presence of Jesus. And isn’t this the enduring, central challenge for those who follow the Christian Gospel; to be that loving presence, to actually embody that love…and, in a seasonal metaphor, to birth that love into the world?
All around us we see the struggle played out, mostly in our failures to love those who irritate us the most, whether a relative, acquaintance, cable newscaster, or member of Congress. And then there are those we don’t see at all, those who, Pope Francis reminds us, are the ultimate victims of our ‘throwaway’ culture…the excluded. “Exclusion ultimately has to do with what it means to be a part of the society in which we live; those excluded are no longer society’s underside or its fringes or its disenfranchised - they are no longer even a part of it. The excluded are not the ‘exploited’ but the outcast, the ‘leftovers’.ii
I will go out on a limb here and suggest that almost all of our personal and social dysfunction is rooted in some perception of exclusion, often a profound sense of unlovability; this is the taproot of shame. So there is great need for an epidemic of love. What might this look like? How can we be great sources of infection?
On a threshold level, it means intentionally being the face of love for everyone, including all in our personal circle of exclusion. As someone once observed, there would be peace on earth if we could just get along with our families. And in fidelity to the Christian command to embrace those of
us most marginalized and invisible, it means listening and responding to the cries of the most distressed.
I see this generative love made visible in a sort of Mutuality of Presence at the House of Grace Catholic Worker free clinic and St Francis Inn in Kensington. The love here is indeed contagious: staff, volunteers, ‘listeners’, iii guests and patients are engaged in a dance of love that benefits everyone. Those infected with this love on both sides of the relationships sometimes bloom and grow in surprising ways.
Recently, one of the patients at the clinic wrote about his experiences. He refers to volunteers and listeners as ‘Lovin Workers’, again and again referencing how their goodness infects him, validates his sense of himself as good, and worthy. This formerly catatonic man says he has been transformed by kindness, and speaks of “picking up”, happiness, peace, and love from the ‘Lovin Workers’.
Here is a man who for years had a hard time seeing anything good in himself; for him and so many others, this feeling is compounded by society’s view of The Excluded as worthless and bad. If people whom society judges as ‘worthy’ struggle with powerful feelings of unworthiness, how much greater is the struggle of those who are already so judged and convicted daily?
But the mystery of love is embraced here. Why do hundreds of people travel to the clinic and Inn, sometimes at great inconvenience? Like the ‘Lovin Writer’ above, they come for community, and for love, to hearten themselves, find compassion and concern for their well-being, affirmation of the good in them, and encouragement to connect deeply to it.
The impact of love is not measurable; I don’t think it can be done. What objective measurement of love’s ‘success’ might there be? How could we quantify the subtle movements of spirit that make us feel, really feel, that we are Beloved, and good?
Yet even if quantifying the impact of love is impossible, its effects are observable. Love is energy; we experience it, feel it move between people. All of us can generate and witness the impact of a kind word, a loving touch, the straightening of spine when some-one is addressed with respect and love. Think of what moves in yourself when someone responds to your own challenges and short-comings with love, and not judgment. Does being loved and listened to create miraculous shifts in behavior? Move addicts into recovery? Stem violent impulses? Maybe. Who knows? But perhaps the miracle is the small shifts that love invites, the momentary, growing realization that, as Merton put it, we all “walk around shining like the sun”.
I know in my bones that listening to another, being love, being the mirror reflecting back the life of God that dwells in people, especially when they cannot see it themselves, is one of the most loving, healing gifts we can offer each other.
All of us need to be both vectors for and victims of an epidemic of love. No need to quarantine yourself; go ahead and breathe it on everyone you meet. Perhaps this could be an intentional spiritual practice for the Advent and Christmas Season. Infect as many people as you possibly can. And then joyfully celebrate the Miracle of Love, knowing deeply that it is who you are.
Sharon Browning
*sunflower: Robert McGovern
Pope Francis, The Joy of the Gospel, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, D.C. 2013, 28
Visit this link (or www.justlistening.net) for more on the Kensington JUST Listening project.